Sometimes I wonder what I am I fighting so hard for  to keep this relationship? Why do I take everything he says to heart?. Why do I keep putting myself through the same heart break? Why am I begging for him to stay? Everything is my fault...he can never admit to anything being his. I'm misunderstood and the way he sometimes speaks to me breaks my heart into a million pieces that immediately tears flow. I am disgusted with myself. Every since being in Cleveland I've done nothing but put my heart through heartbreak. I've been told I was nothing more than a bitch. Ive been strangled and thrown against walls and flipped on concrete. I've been cheated on because I care more with my heart than what makes me a woman between my legs. I've been laughed at and forgotten about. I've had my words twisted and tossed back at me where I would be apologizing for something they did. And yet still questioning "do you still want to be with me?" If I was him I would say no. Who wants to be with someone so bad that they lower their self worth and pride? What have I done to myself?? I'm fighting for something that is dead. I shouldn't have to fight for a relationship ALONE. Love is clearly not enough...especially If I cannot love myself enough to walk away from what is killing me inside. I can't afford to do this again. I have to let go I have to let go...I am going to let go.

Briana McCarthy